Are You Emotionally Competent ? Master Emotional Intelligence And Be A Star Performer

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Being emotionally competent, being emotionally intelligent or being emotionally literate become really important specially when we are living in a world which is so diverse and full of intellectual brains around having different level of expectations, IQ’s & EQ’s . How to stand out, how to sustain and survive is all what is at stake specially in corporate professional workplaces.

So today we will try to understand what are those emotional skills which we need to develop and master so that we not only stand out but stand strong and help others to grow inclusively. Lets first define :

What Do You Mean By Emotional Competence ?

Wiki Define it As:

Emotional competence refers to one’s ability to express or release one’s inner feelings (emotions). It implies an ease around others and determines one’s ability to effectively and successfully lead and express.It is described as the essential social skills to recognize, interpret, and respond constructively to emotions in yourself and others.

Daniel Goleman the famous psychologist Says :

An emotional competence is a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results into an outstanding performance at work.

I feel :

Its an ability of humans to artfully manage the feelings of people around them with a sense of certain empathy and gratitude, which gradually helps to express themselves in a way which is constructive, productive and acceptable in a society or at the workplace.

Emotional competence has two major sides to it , one deals with
intrapersonal (inside, self) and other deals with interpersonal (relationships). To understand how it works , lets understand Emotional competence framework as a whole which puts light on Emotional Competence in an elaborate manner.

But Before we venture into emotional competence framework, it is necessary to understand what is emotional intelligence :

“ Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.” – Mayer & Salovey, 1997

Based on the studies of Goleman (1995 and 1998) and Boyatzis (1982),We can say

Emotional Intelligence is portrayed by a person when s/he demonstrates the competencies that constitute self-awareness, self-regulation/management, relationship management and social awareness at appropriate times and ways in sufficient frequency to be effective in the situation.

EI Stats :

Source : talentsmart

Emotional Competence Framework :

As Goleman suggested this framework has two major component

  1. Self(Personal) Competence : is how we conduct and manage ourself in our day 2 day life
  2. Social Competence : is how we conduct ourselves in relationship handling.
Credit : Francis & Barand , Source

A. Personal Competence :

It empowers individuals with a skills which helps them to be competitive at their workplace or in a society. As per Goleman these competencies comprises of

1. Self Awareness :

People with high level of self-awareness are great at managing their emotions. They understand themselves fully and are great in understanding their goods and bad feelings. They are confident in whatever task they delegate and also ensures that they showcase right amount of emotions to fit into the workplace or situations they are put into.

Goleman further summarizes Self-awareness into these 3 competencies :

  • Emotional Awareness : Addressing to one’s own feeling and the outcome of the same. Being true in accepting and ensuring the onus of any goods or bad is one the self.
  • Self-assessment : this awareness helps the individuals to have accurate assessment of their strength and weakness. They are fully aware of their limitations and so act accordingly to execute and learn the things. They are reflective and are willing to learn from expreinces
  • Self-confidence : This emotional intelligence help people to be absolutely sure of their abilities, it gives them confidence on their self-worth, they are decisive in their approach and can stand against the odds by voicing their concerns with confidence and clarity.

2. Self-Regulation :

This aspect keeps a check and balance on the individuals emotions and helps them to approach with a balanced mindset while expressing it. People with this skillset have a controlled aggression and present a right kind of their individualistic traits . In trying situations it gives them strength to control their impulses and saving them from unwanted stress.

Goleman further breaks this self-regulation aspect into :

  • Self-Control: It help individuals to manage their uncontrollable emotions and check their impulses. In the moment of distress people with this emotional skills are well equipped to stay composed , positive and unflappable.
  • Trust-Worthiness : If you are professionals this one skills needs to be in your kitty. People with high level of integrity and honesty shines among their peers and flourish with flying colors. They value their work ethics, admits their mistakes, confront them and so they depict impeccable honesty to whatever deed they perform.
  • Conscientiousness: people with this skills are front-runner in taking responsibilities for their actions.They takes accountability for their performance and therefore are true to their work commitments and deliveries. They are highly organized and plan their task objectively to meet the deadlines.They are the most sought after resource for any corporates and startups specially dealing in service sectors.
  • Adaptability: People with these skills are open minded and flexible to any things which comes to them. In any situation they fit in and easily adapt to the changes which pops up. They are skillful enough to handle multiple tasks, set priorities as per changing demands. They are fluid in their approach and tactics to fit into rapid changes
  • Innovativeness: people with this emotional competence are fearless and love to try out new technologies or skills to be learned . They are open to new ideas and see things with much wider perspective. They love to take challenges and experiment with their own skill-sets to meet the future demand of any new technology or work. They are preferred assets for many research and idea oriented companies.

3. Self Motivation :

These breed of people puts high standards for themselves and strive to excels in whatever field they engage in. They are self motivated and take inspirations from the people who have excelled in their respective fields . For them results matters the most not the outcome. They are certain in their goals and leaves no stones unturned to meet them.

Goleman further classifies Self-motivations as :

  • Achievement Drive : People with this emotional competence are driven by excellence . They work hard and work upon themselves to meet the high standards which they set for themselves. They set challenging goals and take calculative risk to materialize it. They improve and learn to mitigate the risk of failure in whatever endeavor they pursue.
  • Commitment : This skill helps people to work for larger purpose. They often makes group or individual sacrifices to attain the larger goals for an individual or organisation
  • Initiative : People with this kind of trait are always prepared to take on new challenges or opportunities and act on it. They are go-getter and act beyond expectations to meet their desired goal, they overcome all obstacles and set new rules if existing ones are not working to mobilize their troops and get the task done. They are an Opportunity Seeker & Seizer.
  • Optimism : People with this kind of trait are hardly disappointed with shortcoming and failures, they develop positive perception to see challenges and make ways to overcome it. They act out of hope to succeed and reject the fear of failures.

B. Social Competencies :

In social dynamics our real test of character and emotional abilities are put to test. It can be your workplace, social gathering, home or events for that matter. Her how well you gel-up with others depends upon your social competence. These emotional intelligence aspect needs you to respect others feeling and manage your response according to it. So eventually this aspect has to do more with managing others .

Goleman has categorized social competence into two major component

  1. Relationship Management
  2. Social Awareness & Skills

A. Relationship Management :

This social trait is further classified by goleman as :

  1. Empathy : People who have this skill of empathizing are strong in understanding the feelings of others and more concerned about what others are feeling or will feel, People with this competence are more aware and attentive to emotional signal and are great listener. They are sensitive to others feeling and understands their perspectives
  2. Service Orientation : People with high social skills are great at client servicing. They are smart enough to asses client needs & act accordingly to meet their needs on time. Seek ways to increase staff and clients’ satisfaction and loyalty & are happy to offer appropriate assistance to Grasp other’s perspectives, acting as a trusted advisor.
  3. Helping Others To Develop : People with this competence always respect other peoples effort , acknowledge it . They help them to bolster their skill sets . They work towards others development by giving them necessary environment and tools to flourish. They mentor , coach and offer assignments that challenge and grow a person’s skills.
  4. Leveraging diversity : its an ability to cultivate opportunity from diverse set of people. People with this capability learn adapt and thrive with people and culture of diversity. They respect and relate well to people are all backgrounds and are quite sensitive to group differences .
  5. Political Awareness: People with this competence are smart enough to read key power relationships. They are great at sighting forces which impacts clients and competitors actions and which shapes their view, so they successfully leverage their power management skills to thrive at organizational level.


Goleman bifurcates it into 5 major competencies :

  • Influence: It deal with the effective way of persuading people. People with this emotional competence are highly skilled in building a rapport which has credibility . They can influence people with their charm and readiness to build consensus and support.
  • Communication: It’s an art of clearly conveying message across to the group or individual which is quite convincing. People with this skill are strong in meaningful and result oriented exchanges of services. They confront the problems and deal it with it head-on. They are great at listening and exercise mutual understanding to foster open communication. They are welcoming to any kid of bad news and respond to make situation favorable so that there is no communication lag between the team
  • Leadership: A skill to inspire & guide the troop to achieve the impossible. People having this emotional aspect great at inspiring others to articulate and motivate the group with a shared vision. They always lead by example and are great in getting the task delivered for larger vision and purpose.
  • Change catalyst : People with this emotional competence are great believer of “change is constant “ , they face the challenges and reject the status quo to accept the change. They are change catalyst and successfully involves others in the pursuit to adapt the change.
  • Conflict management: People with this emotional competence are excellent negotiator and resolve any disagreements between two parties or group. They excel in managing hard nuts in adverse situations with their diplomacy and tact. They are solution oriented so foster constructive dialogue openly .

Hogan explains EQ aspect beautifully as shown in the images below :

Summary :

So if you want to excel in your work and at your workplace you not only need to have cognitive skills but also these emotional competence. Decision maker in any corporate in most of the survey has communicated this fact that the people who depict strong emotional intelligence are the one’s who are standing out and performing at their peek level. They are the real champion as they foster great team work and are ensure that the task is well communicated and done in good faith.

So i feel :

“ High EI / EQ will ensure you go down in the history as the most inspiring and loved human being if not the richest. “

“When you set a vision for yourself always be inclusive in your pursuit . Great work is done when it is done with great intent to serve. You alone can plan well but you will always need great team to execute it . So collaborate and have shared vision where you understand others need and engage with them to make it a reality.”

Would like to thanks Daniel Goleman to inspire me & giving me right perspective to pen down this article. His Book emotional intelligence has all what one needs to learn to be a start performer. Go get it, read it and see the change be the change .

Thanks to all your awesome reader for being there with me and inspiring me to write.

Keep Clapping , Keep sharing …..

Pramod Chandrayan

Founder & CEO (Mobibit Soft (P) Ltd) | Mobile App Development Consultant | Startup Mentor | Spiritual Seeker

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